Lily Allen · S5 E1

Walking Away

Why she quit music at the absolute peak

Cold Open

A flat in London, September 28, 2009. Lily Allen types six words into Twitter, "I am a neo-luddite, goodbye," hits send, deletes her account, her Facebook, her blog, and her BlackBerry in one afternoon.

"Freedom! '90" by George Michael, official music video (1990). Directed by David Fincher, the video is a declaration of independence from the pop industry: Michael refused to appear in it, sending supermodels to lip-sync in his place. In 2009, Lily Allen makes the same choice Michael made nineteen years earlier: walk away at the absolute peak, on her own terms.

The days of me making money from recording music has been and gone as far as I'm concerned. I have not renegotiated my record contract and have no plans to make another record.

Lily Allen, blog post on "It's Not Alright," September 24, 2009

The Week Everything Collapsed

Four days before deleting her entire online presence, Allen had launched a blog called "It's Not Alright" to campaign against illegal music downloading. Within days, she was caught copying posts from tech site Techdirt without attribution, and someone discovered she'd hosted mixtapes with over 19 copyrighted tracks on her own website. The hypocrisy accusations piled up faster than she could respond. On the same day she deleted the blog, she wrote: "I will not make another record."

SECRET REVEAL

TAP TO REVEAL: What killed Lily Allen's American career before she even quit?

The Disappearance

Allen didn't just quit music. She quit London. She moved to a country house in the Cotswolds with her boyfriend Sam Cooper, a builder from Gloucestershire. Cooper had told the Daily Mirror he didn't want "one and a half million people in the room" with them. Allen was happy to comply.

The Cotswolds, Gloucestershire

Where Allen retreated after leaving London. She swapped the tabloid spotlight for a country house and a life as far from the music industry as geography allowed.

RAPID FIRE

The Timeline of Walking Away

Bonus Listening

Life for Me -- Lily Allen

From Sheezus (2014). Written after her return to music, this track looks back at the decision to walk away. Allen sings about not wanting the celebrity life, choosing something quieter and smaller over everything the industry was offering her. Hearing it after the story of the blog meltdown, the Cotswolds retreat, and the deleted accounts, every word sounds like a diary entry from 2009.

Lyrics

Life for Me -- Lily Allen (2014)

Read the lyrics while you listen. This is Allen at her most reflective, no satire, no character. She's describing the life she chose when she left, and whether she'd choose it again.

Quick Quiz

What were Lily Allen's final words on Twitter before deleting her account in 2009?

Coming Next

Allen has walked away from fame, moved to the countryside, and started building a quiet life with Sam Cooper. But in November 2010, something happens that makes everything else feel small. Next: the loss she carried in silence for years.

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The Stillbirth