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Lily Allen · S6 E7
The Reckoning
What this album cost her — and what it revealed
Late 2014. The Sheezus tour is over, the headlines have faded, and Lily Allen is left with a question she can't shake: was any of it worth it?
"Apples" by Lily Allen (2018). Written for her daughters Ethel and Marnie, this is the song where Lily confronts her deepest fear: that the chaos of her career will damage her children the way her parents' chaos damaged her. After all the noise of the Sheezus era, hearing this track is like walking into a quiet room. Everything that actually matters is right here.
The Toll
In the space of twelve months, Lily Allen has released a controversial feminist single, been accused of racism, named her album after Kanye West, fought trolls online every night, and watched critics tear apart the record she spent years making. By the end of 2014, she is exhausted. The Sheezus era has taken everything she had.
Apples, Lily Allen (2018)
'Apples' is the most stripped-back song Lily Allen has ever recorded: just her voice, a piano, and a lyric addressed directly to her daughters. She tells them about the mistakes she's made, the things she wishes she'd done differently, and the fear that keeps her up at night. The phrase 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree' is the song's central metaphor: Lily grew up with famous, chaotic parents, and she's terrified of passing that chaos on to the next generation. It's three minutes long and it's devastating.
“I think the Sheezus era broke something in me. I put everything into that record, and the response was either 'you're racist' or 'it's not as good as your last one.' At some point you just think, why am I doing this?”
— Lily Allen, My Thoughts Exactly (2018)
TAP TO REVEAL: What happened to Lily Allen's marriage during the Sheezus era?
What It Revealed
For all its problems, Sheezus revealed something important about Lily Allen: she is incapable of playing it safe, incapable of making the easy choice, and incapable of keeping her mouth shut when she has something to say. Those are exactly the qualities that built her career in the first place. They're also the qualities that will make her next album, No Shame, the most honest record she's ever made.
After Sheezus
Holding On To Nothing, Lily Allen
'Holding On To Nothing' is a Sheezus bonus track that feels like an epilogue for the entire album. The title captures exactly where Lily Allen finds herself at the end of 2014: after the controversy, the reviews, the trolls, and the tour, what's left? This song sounds like the answer, and the answer isn't comfortable.
Holding On To Nothing, Lily Allen (2014)
Read the lyrics while you listen. This is the last song on the Sheezus deluxe edition, and it reads like a goodbye letter to the entire era. After the bravado, the controversy, and the chart numbers, these are the words that linger.
How long did Lily Allen wait between Sheezus (2014) and her next album No Shame?
Four years of silence follow the Sheezus era. When Lily Allen finally makes another album, she calls it No Shame, and this time she's telling the truth about everything.
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